One Year Later

Well it's been a year since I graduated from college. It was very very strange going to see graduation this year. I've seen my friends graduate before but this time I was continuously flashing back to what it felt like to be sweltering in those black robes and to have all the speeches be about me. I have to say, our speeches were better. Scotty B (the president) talked about how Beloit College is like turtle sex (the video is up on youtube if you don't believe me), Ben Pascoe handed out milkshakes, and I don't really remember the guest commencement speaker but I feel sure he was more uplifting than this years' who was interesting but also talked a lot about how depressing the world is right now and how it is the graduates' job to fix it. I had nearly as many people to hug and say goodbye to this year as I did last year (although it helped that two of them will be coming to live with me in a couple of months and more will at least be heading to Madison). I also got to see a couple of my professors (for all the time that I've spent in Beloit since graduation I've never gone back to the Bio floor or seen any of the professors, mostly because I worry they'll judge me for my work choices and ask me when I'm going to grad school) but it was much less stressful than I thought. Mostly because it was Yaffa and Carl/Carol, I think, and they seem much more okay with the idea of taking some time off and doing something fun and interesting than, say, John or maybe Ken. But I'm getting off topic. It's funny how the end of the school year seems to be affecting me about as much as it usually did during college (although not as much as last year, obviously). I've been visiting Beloit weekly or every two weeks and so I'm really really going to miss seeing everyone this summer (especially Alexander, although he's staying with me right now which is lovely). Also, when I visit next year I won't get nearly as many hugs or shocked and excited expressions (people ask me why I never told them I was coming down, it's because of how much fun it was to tap them on the shoulder and see them do a double take and then grin and give me a huge hug. That did not get old and now it will happen a whole lot less because I don't know many of the sophomores - who will be seniors next year but will always be sophomores to me - nearly as well as I knew the juniors - who just graduated). So, I'm feeling a little sad and nostalgic and even a little weepy as summer begins. On a brighter note, though, I survived my first year out of college! How exciting is that? I had not the slightest idea where I would be now one year ago and never in a million years would I have guessed I would be getting paid to work with polo horses. I have an awesome job, I will only be living alone for another two and a half months and then I will get two lovely roommates, my wonderful boyfriend of almost a year and a half is sleeping a few feet away and when I finish this I will wake him up so I can teach him how to ride a horse, I live in a beautiful city with friends and more friends will be flocking here soon. It's a great life but I'm starting to get a little antsy to do something else. I mean, obviously I will be in Madison for at least another year, but maybe it really is time for grad school after that. Or at least a change of scenery. I don't know. Everything was always changing in college, I would be doing something completely different every semester, always meeting new people and moving and planning for the future and so it's hard for me to wrap my head around staying in one place and doing one thing for very long. Maybe I should learn to but maybe I should not force it until that is what I want. I have no idea. I'm still very much figuring this whole thing out. But I've done a really good job of it this first year, and I think I'll continue to do that, so everything will be okay. *knock on wood*.